Kelly Smith Weblog Aficionado: Just a guy vs. Life

Is it ever enough? We often ask ourselves and others the question. "Is it ever enough?" This is very poignant. Do we ever do enough? Do we ever do enough for others? Are our expectations ever met? Do we meet others expectations? I suppose it is all relative, both in situation and in perspective. I wonder will it ever be enough, I wonder that on a daily basis. Will my expectations ever be met? Are they too high? Are the demands that I place upon those that are close to me too much? Perhaps, but hell....who knows? Do I do my part? Of course everyone always feels as if they do their part, but really? Aren't self-evaluations the most deluded and skewed? Over the past few weeks, a number of things have happened that are of some merit. I was commissioned as an Officer in the United States Army National Guard. My daughter turned a year old. I started back working on my Master's degree. I started working on a Management Trainee Program, and there may...

The evolution of trash talking... I always wondered why people talk trash so much in regard to sports. Warren Sapp appears to be the undisputed king of trash talking. He has often been seen standing over his victims spewing taunts about what horrific damage he has done to them after he hits them. I always thought that this was perhaps the machismo of high paid professional athletes, and the lax standards of sportsmanship that the NFL allows. But, while helping coach Devons JV youth football league team I see that the trash talk starts much earlier. In fact, you needn't be a superstar who always performs, you only need to do one good thing at any given time to talk trash. You could be the kind of receiver who ordinarily couldn't catch a cold, but if you happen to catch a pass and get by the corner back then you have license to talk trash. Here are some of the things that I have heard uttered on the field by nine and ten year olds. Runningack: I shook you like a we...

Feel homesick...just don't feel unappreciated. You most certainly are not. Unfortunately it seems that there are aggressive actions perpetrated against our troops on a daily basis. The length of time the troops have been there, and the different type of action that they have had to endure has made it very difficult for them to stay motivated. Reporters are telling us about how their hearts aren't in it. People can point the finger at Bush I suppose, everyday I hear the growing discontentment with the lack of substantive proof of weapons of mass destruction. My, oh my. Who would have thought that we would ever be back in Iraq. Much less occupying it with troops. Troops that are facing a faceless enemy who employs guerilla tactics. I can't imagine what the men must be going through. Having to worry so much everyday, and having to see their fellow soldiers killed and maimed. They do what they can to keep one another's spirits up, but that nagging feeli...

Keri is so very.....dangerous I woke up this morning and took a shower. Once I got out I looked around for my lotion. No Vaseline Intensive care to be found. I saw a bottle of Renee's Keri lotion and smelled it. Hmm.....not girly smelling at all. This will work. I applied a generous amount to the palm of my hands and began working it into the skin on my arms, back of my hands, and my face. Man. That stuff goes a long way, I had too much on, so I had to towel off again so I wouldn't be too greasy. I finished getting the kids stuff together and headed for work. As I sped along the interstate, I decided to roll the windows down and save the AC. Apparently there is something in the air that I am allergic to, so I sneezed a couple of times, but not too bad. After I sneezed I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand. Suddenly my eyes began to burn and sting, then they began to water. I wiped the water from my eyes with my hand, and they began to burn twice as bad. ...

Last monthly drill... Believe it or not I am at my monthly drill for the National Guard. This is the last monthly drill that I will be involved in before I head to Phase III of OCS. We are here updating administrative information, so I have access to the internet. I am kind of worried about how things are going back at home. My wife is helping her family with a family reunion back in Lexington, and I am not sure how much work is going to fall on her shoulders. There are a lot of things that need to be done, and I wish I was there with her now to help out. This is one of the drawbacks to my reentry into military life. Before, when I was young and single, I hadn't a care in the world as to where I went, or how long I went. I do enjoy military training, however, I am always wondering what my family is doing. This year when I go to Phase III training, I will be feeling a lot better than last year. Last year my wife was 7 months pregnant, and I was terrified that she was g...

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Alex... The other night I borrowed a DVD copy of "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" from my brother-in-law Roger. I sat on the couch in the TV room upstairs and began to get lost in the action of the movie. One thing cool about DVD's is the fact that you can change the languages spoken in the movies. Nowadays the language change is almost seamless as compared to the voiceover material of the 1970's Kung Fu flicks. So I sat upstairs watching it, and Alex sat on my lap sucking her thumb and staring intently at the television screen. She lost interest and began to whine and clamor to get down on the floor. I set her on the carpet between my feet, and she began to play with a stuffed animal. Suddenly during a high-flying action scene Alex stood up and held onto the edge of a clothes basket and began to yell at the characters flying and fighting across the screen. She lashed out quickly with her foot and fell on her back. I scooped her up...

Happy Birthday, Renee! Today is my wife's birthday. I already gave her a gift last night, I bought her a copy of Hillary Rodham Clinton's "Living History". Unfortunately we couldn't wake up together this morning, she spent the night at her mother's house to give her a hand with the preparations for this weekend's family reunion. The one thing that her mother wanted us to do was to change the linen on the bed in the spare bedroom. I am betting that this bed is well over 120 years old. Renee's grandmother and all of her siblings were born on this bed, and it has been handed down from generation to generation. The actual matress sits much higher off the ground than most beds do, and it is an odd-size. It's size rests uncomfortably between a queen and a full size. Renee and I went into the back bedroom which had been closed so as to save the amount of space that the window air conditioner had to cool. The moment we opened the door, a bla...

Strom Thurmond is dead... Many people are observing the passing of Strom Thurmond with mixed feelings. A lot of my friends seem to be rejoicing as if an evil dictator has been deposed. If we look at his past words and actions, it is easy to see why some blacks may not think too fondly of Strom Thurmond. I am not sure what to think, actually. As a Christian, I know it is not good to harbor hate for anyone, no matter how reprehensible their behavior has been in the past. I was reading a Slate article about him, and they spoke about how no official apology for his past behavior was ever rendered. However, there seemed to be an "unspoken" apology that his fellow conservatives voiced for him over and over. What was once an unspoken rumor of his biracial daughter has come to light in news services as well. It would seem that his past disdain, or need for seperation from the black race was not quite so urgent at one point in time. He fathered a child with a black ho...

Spike TV! It would seem that the number of disgruntled men who have been forced to sit through reruns of "The Golden Girl's" with their Lifetime-Identifying wives is over. Now, men are getting their own channel. TNN formerly the Tennesse Nashville Network has changed to The National Network and is poised to change once again into Spike TV . A channel where men can watch wrestling, monster truck pulls, action cartoons called Striperella. The channel will also run reruns of shows such as CSI, and Star Trek. But, there is a monkeywrench in the works at Spike TV. It seems that Spike Lee feels like the channel is trying to capitalize off of his celebrity. He claims that the show is trying to benefit off of an assumed allusion to something that has to do with him. He is presently suing. If you look at the picture above I think we should sue him for that blazer-shirt ensemble he has on. Additionally, I think his suit is baseless. When I think of Spike Lee, ...

If I could just get my hands around his neck..... Now everyone has heard of "deadbeat dads", but this guy takes the cake. Apparently he went to visit the mother of his child, (baby mama), to implore her to date him again and she refused. So genius kidnaps her, drives her around, and then takes her back to the apartment. A huge argument ensues and he dangles his own daughter out of the window. She calls 911, and he tosses his own flesh-and-blood, out of the 7th story window . Miracle of miracles some tree branches slow her fall and she lands in a small square of mulched earth beneath the tree. The mother gets a kitchen knife and stabs him, and he runs from the apartment, scoops up the baby, and takes her to the hospital. Police find him there and arrest him. By God's grace the baby only had cuts and bruises. I really don't know how to express what I am feeling when I think about a 10 month old baby being thrown from a 7th story window. My daughter ...

Fiery Protest... I believe in the people's right to protest, if the protest is constructive. I have never understood riot politics in which some group tears up their own community in outrage over a ruling or an event. I understand that frustration may lead to violent behavior, but I don't condone it. But in the case of the Iranian self-immolating I am at a loss. Iranian Protestors are setting fire to themselves. I am not sure what this is accomplishing besides making bystanders say, "Jesus Christ, that guy just set himself on fire."

Damn...and that was rated PG-13? I just got finished watching "The Ring" a few moments ago. I really didn't feel as if I needed to turn on any lights, but it was definitely suspenseful. That is the first movie in a loooooooooong time that has made my heart race. Kinda cool...heh.

I'm too big for my safe place... When I was a little boy, sometimes I would become very afraid. Sometimes for a reason, and sometimes for no reason at all. I would sit very still and curl up and wait for the danger to pass. More often than not, my father would come. I knew safety was on its way when I heard the sound of combat boots and smelled Kiwi shoepolish and aftershave. He would swoop me into his arms with no effort at all and begin to walk with me. I suppose with all of the years that have passed since he has done that, the content of his words surely would have escaped me. But, truth be told, it was never his words that comforted me. I rarely listened at all in fact. It was the prickly feeling on my cheek, the broadness of the shoulder that I rested my chin on, and the amazing feeling of comfort as I sat in the crook of his arm, that soothed me. I would rest my head on his shoulder and savor the vibrations of the baritone that I knew so very well. I would lo...

OCS Graduation... In the next 73 days I have a PT test and a 10 day war to complete, after that I will be a Lieutenant.

Ho Hum...... Man, I tell you I feel like I am on a treadmill that just won't stop. My days and weeks are going by like a blur and I feel as if I am getting nothing accomplished. I suppose if finances were in a better way things would be different. My focus is gone as well. I can't seem to get some of my priorities straight either. At this moment it is a quarter til eleven and I should be packing the rest of my gear for National Guard this weekend, but instead I am on the damned internet. Nothing seems to be going right as of late. I suppose my father had to go through a time or two like this as a young father/husband, but there appears to be no end in sight. My emoticon at the bottom of this webpage boasts a troubled mindset, and it has remained that way for the last few weeks. No matter how happy I may appear to be, I remain troubled all of the time. There are just sooooo many things on my mind at any given moment that I feel like I can't give due attention t...

Bling? Man, I am really tired of not being able to have ALL the things that I need, and SOME of the things that I want. Don't get me wrong, I am far from the superficial person who guages success by possessions, but I need more. I need more money, because I have more needs. It is really as easy as 1...2...3. I have one house and wife, two cars, and three kids. There you go. I have been looking for more income to buy some of the things that I really don't need, but kind of want. I don't like the budget just barely making it, I don't like choosing low grade gas because I know I need to buy baby formula. I just never imagined that after a college degree, and a quasi-lucrative career choice that things would be this tough. I suppose I needn't complain too much, just like my mother always told me, there is always someone in the Sudan that is worse off, but I am worried about the here and now....namely me. It doesn't make me feel good when my kids ask fo...

AC Milan wins!!!!!!!! Well, Juventus was favored to win, but AC Milan edged them in penalty kicks. Dida, the goalkeeper for AC Milan deserves a lot of credit. Although AC Milan scored a goal in the 17th minute, it was called back because of a questionable offsides whistle. So, we went through two sudden deaths, and finally to PK's where AC Milan edged them 3 to 2. Did stopped THREE shots. It was really incredible. It seems nobody thinks of the goalkeeper unless he misses a save. Here is the article about Juve's defeat . I would have to say that I like love Italian Soccer almost as much as I love Brazilian soccer. AC MILAN...AC MILAN!

Racism as a cause for plagiarism? Questions have been raised in the media about whether Blair had been able to keep working at the Times, despite a record of mistakes, because of his race or connections with top editors. The newspaper, whose managing editor, Gerald Boyd, is black, is trying to diversify its staff. Also, Blair is friendly with a staffer from Poland, home country of editor Howell Raines' wife, raising the specter that he received special treatment. It seems that the scandal at the New York Times is taking another turn, ostensibly for the worst. Jayson Blair has apologized for his misdeeds to some degree, but blamed substance abuse, race, and personal problems as the cause. What is indeed strange to me is the way that he is attempting to mass market his improprieties in movie and book deals. He is somewhat put off by the assertions that he was allowed to stay at the NYT because of his race. He tries to liken himself to Stephen Glass, and even made a stateme...

Pentagon calls BBC's Lynch allegations 'ridiculous' The BBC report quoted witnesses and hospital officials as stating the United States knew that there were no Iraqi forces at the hospital when it conducted the commando raid, and that the United States special operations forces had used Hollywood theatrics, including blank ammunition, to make a show of rescuing private Lynch. When will all of this nonsense end? It seems that the BBC would have us believe that the entire Jessica Lynch rescue operation was a farce. While when people hear words and phrases like Commando Raid, Ranger, SEAL, Special Forces, Delta Force, Covert, and Marine they tend to think of the melodramatic Chuck Norris or Sly Stallone type action. In all actuality this was indeed a commando raid. Meaning that specially trained infantry were used to get in and get out quickly. Additionally, this was a rescue, regardless of whether there was nobody there or not, we reaquired our personnel from for...

Reloaded..... Despite what the well-paid film critics say, I thought the movie was awesome. I don't recall who it was, but it stated that not enough time was spent in character background and development. Well, that may be true, but I was not planning to go watch Citizen Kane, I wanted to see some ass-whipping. And boy did I see it. The Wachowski brothers raised the bar this time. I won't go into specifics on the movie but it is well worth the money. When the movie ended with the words [TO BE CONCLUDED]. There were audible signs of dismay, I was ready to sit there another two hours to see how everything panned out. Trust me, go see it.