Kelly Smith Weblog Aficionado: Just a guy vs. Life

Well, November 30th 2000....yesterday I celebrated my 29th birthday....wow...29 years old, it doesn't seem even remotely possible that I am this close to thirty years of age. I had a great birthday....I came into work about 10 "something". Received cake, icecream and a gift from my co-workers. My sister, Renee, and one of her friends named Michelle took me to O'Charley's and treated me to lunch, I had one of my favority O'Charley's meals....vegtetable steamer..."MMMMMMMMMMMSo good!".....After work Renee and I lounged around the house and talked and watched Judge Judy put the screws into several defendants, and headed out the door for Dev's basketball practice at the Y. After that we went up to KSU and watched my Alma Mater beat Morehouse in an overtime defeat. We went home got the boys off to bed, and passed out watching Liar Liar with Jim Carrey. Uneventful birthday? If that is what it is called so be it. To me it was almost picture...

Man, I feel good...a little down in the dumps about the news I heard last night, but I am still excited about the future...more to come later.

November 22nd, 2000.....My mother was born 66 years ago today. Wow....I never thought that the age of 66 could seem so young to me! Maybe it is just because I am getting older...I am not going to be able to come home, but I am going to call her and wish her a happy birthday, I am going to see her tomorrow so that is when I am going to give her a gift and a card. This will also be the first Thanksgiving that Renee and I will spend together. Last year we went to out seperate homes, but we are making a concerted effort to be at one another's house for this special day, we are still working out the details for Christmas time. Wow...mom was born in 1934, and dad in 1933...it seems inconceivable at times. They were born in an entirely different world. A world where poor black folks from the South had little chance of making it out of their respective rural communities, but yet, they did. I wonder how well I would have fared had I been born with so many things stacked against me....

Well, it has been quite some time since I have posted something to my weblog, but I have been much more diligent in regard to making notes in my journal book. Things have been going spectacularly well for Renee and I, and the monetary considerations in regard to our wedding don't seem to be quite as insurmountable. I have decided to not go back in to the active military, but I am considering becoming a National Guard Officer. I do want to have some way to fulfill my dreams of being a military officer even if it is on such a part time basis. *sigh* This was a difficult decision for me because I am never going to have the chance to be an active military officer now because of my age. 28 almost 29 is very young in the grand scheme of things, but nevertheless I am beginning to feel my age in a great many ways. I am working part time at Elder-Beerman, and hopefully that will allow me to put more money away for our upcoming wedding date...August 4th...so far, but yet so close. Thi...

All men who are indeed men second guess themselves and analyze their position in life. I have been doing this more and more as of late. I have seriously considered going back into the military as a permanent career, but I have a great many things to consider now that I never even thought of before. There is the situation with my family, Renee's family, the boys, my financial situation, moving to another state, and the possibility that I could be seperated from Renee, Devon, and Robbie for an extended amount of time. I have thought and thought about all of the pros and cons of the situation and I am leaning toward turning from the military and exploring as many options as I can locally. I have thought about the significant impact that a move like this will have on Renee and the boys. I am concerned about her familial attachments also, but my main concern and point of approval is Renee. She says that she will stand with me no matter what, but I don't want to put her though ...