Okay, disregard the previous melancholy self-defeated post dated 6/20/01. Everything worked out perfectly and we are on our way. I spent a quiet weekend with Renee, and I felt so energized when I woke up to head to work today. Everything is going well at this point I have just a few weeks before I get married. I have been waiting for this day my entire life. Many people think of a wedding being a woman's day, and to a certain extent it is. It is a day when a woman feels the most beautiful, regal, sophisticated, and enchanting. I suppose that is because of all of the traditional pomp and circumstance that everyone likes to be a part of. But, though I want to bask in the revelry of the day, of the hour, of the moment. I am looking at my life taking a new course. Renee will be the woman that I will share everything with, have children with, laugh with, cry with, get old with, and die with. While the concept it is fascinating and somewhat storybook, it is scary. Not scary in the sense that my life, my productivity, or my potential is limited by this union. Not in the least. But rather, it is scary when I think of the enormity of the situation, and the depth of the responsibility that I am taking on. Not just being a husband, but alson being a Father of two. Wow, I have always wanted to be in this situation, and I wouldn't change a thing about how things have gone to date. The terrible events that befell me in earlier days didn't seem to make much sense, and I was always asking myself and God why things were the way they were. But, I see that all of the trials and tribulations were merely preparation so that I my truly recognize and acknowledge the tremendous gift that God has bestowed upon me.
Being an Officer...a Black one.....is sometimes hard. [Howard Rollins from "A Soldier's Story"] Sometimes being an Officer is difficult....not because of hard tasks, short timelines, or all of the worries involved in the care of your Soldier's, but the aura of professionalism and objectivity that you must display at all times. There have been many times that I have wanted to make a comment, yell, cuss at someone, or otherwise let my personal feelings be known about a subject, but unfortunately I could not because of my position. Let me tell you about two incidents that bothered me in particular. I was in Dallas Ft. Worth airport waiting to catch a flight on the last leg of my TDY trip to help a returning unit at Ft. Sill. As I went to my gate, I saw 4 Sailors in their black uniforms gathered at the gate...one was large and white, the other three were black. There was very little room, and many of them were standing intermingled with civilian airline passengers...
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