Tuesday, October 17, 2000

One would think that Springtime would be the time that love blossoms and romance is in the air. It makes perfect sense, the snow is melting, the forest wakes up, and love abounds. People think of Springtime and they think of the birds and the bees and lovers strolling through the park. I think that Springtime is lovely...aside from the nagging hayfever that plagues me. But Autumn is what makes me think of love. Autumn, not Fall, because Fall only describes what happens to the leaves. That is what we think about, the leaves turn brown and fall off the trees, and we assume that this is where our year is ending, or dying if you prefer. I disagree....this is merely the preparation for a long sleep before waking refreshed. Which is more comforting, to wake up on a bright morning full of vigor, or to lay one's tired body down, curl up in a blanket, and smile as you drift asleep....knowing that now is the time to rest that tired soul, and dream of all of the important things that are cast aside during a busy day. That extra "I love you" as you leave the house, children's laughter, a phone call to that friend that you have not talked to in ages, and making love to the person that has captured your heart. Autumn makes me think of new love...... Truly it does.....I love the deep, rich browns, yellows, golds, and fading green that adorn the trees. I love the smell of the crisp morning air. I love the cloudless windy days that scatter leaves here and there. I love watching the sun go down and become replaced by a rich harvest moon. I imagine myself sitting in a restaurant sipping Merlot, staring at my lovely Renee as she tells me about her plans for the future. I bristle with excitement as each new detail brings an even bigger smile to her sweet lips. I think of all of the wondrous years that lay before us when we become man and wife. I think of being fatherly, and I have to smile to myself. I'm sure she will ask me what I am thinking, and naturally I will say, "Oh nothing." But she will only smile because she knows...she always knows...no matter what events befall us, no matter what busy schedules keep us apart, and no matter what tasks challenge my every attention. She knows that I am easily distracted. No matter what I am doing, I am consumed by the dizzying array of experiences, hopes, and dreams that we have shared, and will share with one another. I think about all that lies before us, and the tasks don't seem to be insurmountable. She know that I am thinking of us walking hand in hand, walking down the aisle and beyond. Possibilities will always become reality as long as we fiercely cling to one another. She knows that I am thinking that nothing shall come between me and my destiny......

It comes as gentle as a summer rain.
It wraps me up in content.
It clouds my vision with blissful dreams
of how our lives together were meant.

It is the color of tropical shores.
It smells of vanilla and spice.
It makes my body tremble uncontrollably
& my tears show I have paid the price.

It is that place between luck and chance.
It is the fine line between pleasure and pain.
It is the feeling between like & love,
and a long kiss in the autumn rain.

excerpts from a poem written by me!

Perhaps I shouldn't ignore her and tell her "nothing", just because I think that she knows my thoughts so well. Maybe I will look up at her and say, "I am thinking that I will never think of anyone else besides you and it made me smile...I love you."

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