The itsy bitsy spiiiiiiiider....AAAAAUUUUUGGGHHH!
Last night I was upstairs in the TV room watching a movie. Suddenly a movement on the ceiling caught my eye. I looked up and saw a little black spider walking across the ceiling. I stood up on the couch and grabbed a shoe and made ready to hit it. Apparently the spider caught sight of me moving and paused. As he was walking away from me on the ceiling he pivoted 180 degrees and stopped. Once I raised the shoe to hit it, he launched himself off of the ceiling......right toward my face. I squawked and fell back on the couch. After flailing my arms, and shaking my shirt out as if I was on fire I checked the floor and the couch to see where he had gone. No spider to be found.
Thinking that I must have scared him off I sat down on the couch and started watching the movie again. Suddenly I caught something out of the corner of my eye and looked at the corner of the room. Nothing. I started watching TV again, and detected movement. I looked out of the corner of my eye and saw the spider.....WALKING ON THE ARM OF MY GLASSES! I made a noise, which I will not acknowledge as a scream, of which the falsettic high note surprised me. I slapped at my glasses and knocked them off my face. After slapping and flailing at my face and neck for approximately two minutes I retrieved my glasses and looked about for my eight legged friend. Nothing.
By this time I decided that I should head to bed. I turned out the light and went downstairs and got in bed next to my wife. But, it seemed that I was itching at this point. I kept thinking that I felt something trekking across my forehead, or up my neck. I tossed and turned until my sleepiness overcame my itchiness. What a night.